From Chaos

*Note: wait until 00:10 before pressing play on the second one
*Note: set the volume on the second selection to half.

There was a clap of thunder as the day was turned dark and dreary. Rain poured down, soaking through the small girl as she wandered through the forests. The clap of thunder brought her to a faster pace as she tried to find the village not to far from here. She knew that there was one. But at the moment all she could think of was her sore, blistered feet and her chaotic mind. A bad luck charm she was. They had thrown her out of the tribe so she had wandered looking for help from anyone, but never receiving too much. The fact that her mind whispered to others like a cacophony of angry bees, tended to drive the people around her insane. She couldn't control her powers or her mind. It just happened. Especially when her emotions ran high. It only made things so much worse.

Lightening flashed in the sky and a bolt hit the ground near her, causing her jump, startled. The girl could not have been more than eight winters old, but she had traveled so far in the past weeks, surviving on what she could. Jay'de was constantly trying to find someplace, or someone to help her control this maddening power that floated through her mind. Her feet, now shoeless, were blistered and bleeding, each step agony as she found her way to a forest path and almost fell into the mud of the path before noticing it. Rocks cut into the tender flesh of her feet, as she continued on her way down the path.

Jay'de had stolen a horse on the first part of the trip, but the horse had soon bolted back home at the first sign of danger. She splashed through puddle after puddle as she trudged away. Cold and shivering, her hands folded themselves around her, as she thought back to the last few weeks. She had finally gleaned from someone's mind that there was a village here in the forest that taught those skilled in magic. Now to find it. That was the hard part. Hope was in her heart that they would be able to help her learn to control this. She shivered.

More thunder and more of the cold, blinding rain. Her foot came down and she slipped, falling backwards in the mud. She caught herself on her hands, but there were rocks and sharp sticks that poked at her and scratched her hands. The mud splashed over her at her fall and she squeezed her eyes shut trying not to cry. She came from a people that such weakness was frowned upon. But still the tears spilled down her dirty cheeks.

-547-

She was weak and knew it. Her power was directly in proportion to her emotions at the time. Hence the heavy thunderstorm overhead. She seemed to amplify things that went on around her. Jay'de began to stand up, covered in mud that was now slowly being washed from her by the rain. Her dress was torn and tattered, one of many that she had gone through in the past few weeks. Most of them she had stolen off the clothing lines of the people in the villages she had passed through. Now what was the name of that village. The village of the star. The village of the tree, The village of life. No it was the village of the sun. Slowly and tenderly she began to continue on her way down the path again. Leaves fluttered around her in a whirlwind of force that she pulled up. Branched groaned and creaked in the storm as the wind blew cold air down onto the poor thing.

Her once soft white hair was slick with mud and dirt. Little leaves and twigs clung to her once beautiful tresses. The main reason she had been thrown out of the tribe was that their leader had sliced his own throat due to her whisperings. Had wanted to get away so badly from her uncontrolled mental abilities that he had slit his own throat in front of his wife and child. And now his child was banished from the tribe and forever forced to wander the world until death. Once a princess, now nothing more than a child alone with nothing but the thoughts of her own mind. That chaotic thing that she wanted to get rid of and learn to control.

-303-

The traveling along the road was long and and the rain was harsh against her once soft skin. She once made quite a cute little girl. So fair and such a promising beauty. But right now, it lay hidden beneath all that muck and mud. The young girl finally let herself start crying, it wouldn't be notice with all the rain. Lightning crackled and shot through the air as she trudged onward, still uncertain of where she was going. Her mind getting lost in the memories of a few weeks ago.

Her own father and mother had tried to find anyone that could help. Looked at all the other tribes, warring or not, for a magus that could help her control the budding mental powers. Then the whisperings had started, soft at first, like someone was whispering behind your back and you couldn't quite make out exactly what it was. Then over the next month it had only gotten worse. The whispers around the encampment had only gotten louder as she got closer to people. And they were whisperings that only they could hear. Their own minds attacking them with so much might and force. That the whisperings began to drive a lot of them crazy. Her own father had slit his throat rather than listen to his deepest darkest thoughts. Her mother had cried as her uncle had banished her.

-253-

That same day, it seemed like all was going wrong. She was banished into the desert by herself with only her own mind for company. Without much to survive. It was a harsh climate. The sun had blistered her and left her so parched that she had nearly died. As she passed out, someone had come by and picked up. Waking up that night, she had been dressed, her blistered skin slaved, and fed and given water. It took days of being nursed back to health before the whisperings started again. They kicked her out of the camp, but at least time she had a direction to go. The old lady of the village had said to go northwest. And she would find a place of training for magic users like Jay'de.

This group had at least given her a pack and some supplies. At the tender young age of eight, she had become an outcast. Forced to live on her own. Three more camps later, never staying longer than a few days, stealing a horse and a the supplies that she needed. she found herself moving into the open plains just north of the desert.

-206-

It was not a sudden change like she had expected. But a gradual one. Once she realized she wasn't trudging through sand dunes and dry heat, she had looked around in wonder. Never having been that far north before. While sitting there atop the horse, she gazed around her at the massive, high grasses, green with the hint of spring. The wind blew in from the coast and she shivered. It was cooler this far north. This was when she had noticed the oncoming group of riders. The dust kicked up by their horses was enough to make her cringe. She knew that they were raiders. Having lived among a tribe of them, they were baring down on her and she had little time to jerk the horse's reins and start off to the west across the plains.

It didn't take long for the raiders to overcome her and the horse. Soon their leader was reaching out and grabbing the reins from her hands. Without much effort he wrestled them from her and pulled up on the leather straps, halting the galloping horse. When they had finally come to a stop, the leader reached over and pulled her onto the horse with him.

-218-

She was placed sideways across his horse and they rode hard into the fading daylight. When they made camp, he leered at the eight year old and tied her up. They drank as she lay on the cold ground trying not to sob. Finally snoring was going on around the campfire. She had worked all night to loosen the bonds and eventually, her small hands, covered in blood from the constant rubbing of the rope along her wrists. But she was free and she silently moved off into the darkness. She dared not take a horse with her, since that would cause a noise and wake them. So she slunk off away from the camp until she felt comfortable enough to run for her life.

She ran until morning light and found herself at a small village. There was temple that gave her a place to stay for the next few days. But like always the whisperings began again and she was gone by morning light, having stolen clothing and supplies again. Off she went looking for the village of the Sun. Every traveler she asked for directions.

-201-

But it always ended up with her going in the same direction. This time, she was on foot and it was taking her so much longer. That was the story of it, well the short version. Jay'de was not a whiner. She came from the strong people of the desert. The fact that this situation had reduced her to tears finally, was saying a lot. But she was only eight winters old. Jay'de had come so far and the rain was driving her onward. She had this burning need to be in control of her own mind and not keep getting lost to her emotions.

As will now, the whispers of her mind, she had learned to ignore or rather she could barely hear them most times. Her own tribe had labelled her a liability and in her won mind, she knew this was true. If she didn't find help soon she would most likely be forced into wandering forever in these stark wildernesses. The animals were strangely frightened away not just by the storm but by the mental noise coming from her. This at least was helpful in keeping away the large predators.

-203-

Her tiny feet stumbled again as she walked along. This time she fell forwards and landed on her hands again, splashing forwards in the muck and mire of this rank roadway. She picked herself up to her knees and turned her head to sky, her mouth opened and her eyes closed she let out the first verbal uttering in three days. Her scream of frustration, anger, and total hopelessness echoed around the forest, soon covered by the sounds of the thunderstorm. Jay'de's head fell forward as she remained in her kneeling position for a few moment, dry sobs wracking her small body.

There was no one around to see so she could let down her walls and cry her heart out. She cried for her lost family, the death of her father. She cried for her banishment, she cried for trials over the past few weeks. Her tears were lost in the rain pouring down over her. Her cries continued until her throat was to hoarse to continue. Finally, after her bought of self-pity and loathing, she sniffled and wiped her hand across her face.

-204-

What was she thinking? She was being stupid. Her tribe did not break down in childish tears over hardships, they continued to surmount the odds stacked against them. They were survivors. She was doing a disservice to her family name. But why did she want to keep that family name. They abandoned her, banished her to her death. She was dead to them. Should they not be dead to her as well. Of course. No one ever wanted to look out for her. So it was all about doing things for herself. She would forsake her family name and forge her own way in this world. They would be dead to her as she was dead to them. From henceforth, she would have no family. No name, just her first given name. Jay'de needed no one but herself to survive. She would find this village of the sun and she would apply herself to them and learn to control her powers. She would then be unstoppable.

The dreams of this eight year old would go far. Nothing and no one would be relied upon heavily for anything. No handouts. Whatever was given to her would be given back even if took years to do so.

-215-

In the mud of the streets, under a storming sky. Jay'de made these vows to herself as the rain poured down on her and she began to shiver. Her version of ordering her own life. These simple rules to live by and be accountable. She went over them in her head like a mantra. repeating until she held them in her heart. Her eyes turned into green flames as she looked up the road from under her wet, mud clumped bangs.

One. Always repay in kind, no matter how long it takes.

Her mouth turned up in a slight sadistic grin, barely visible behind those bangs.

Two. Never rely on anyone but yourself.

Her arms, which were wrapped protectively around her body trying in vain to protect it from the rain., fell to her sides as a flash of lightening hit the ground near her, the static warming her cold body.

Three. Never show true weakness.

The clap of thunder and another flash revealed that the little girl had risen and was walking silently forward. Her mind made up. She would eventually expand on those three main rules. But for now those three were to keep her strong.

-219-

That inner fire, burned hot and white. She would not be told no, when she got there. If they needed her to pay for her schooling, then she would just have to find a way to work it off. She could clean or cook. But perhaps it might be wise to wait and see what would be required for her to live and learn with them. Anything to stop the voices from affecting everyone around her. Slowly she made her way through the woods as the rain and thunder continued on.

It didn't take her long before she made it through the forest and into the open area that showed a town. Day had been slowly creeping towards night as she had trudged and the light had almost completely faded from view. Only the flashes of lightening revealed the large structures of the village in front of her. Like some horror movie, she continued to trudge, her head down towards the village in front of her. She was startled by the thunder and lightning again. This fear caused her to run head long into the village, past guards that called out to her, thinking that a child had been stupid enough to get caught in the village.

-220-

She ran, without looking, without really knowing where she was heading until a lightning flash brought her to a halt in front of a large building. Moving up to the doors, she thought that this grand place must be a place of learning and all she wanted was to be out of the cold, out of the rain, out of the night. Some place that could help her and teach her. Some place she would be accepted. With all of her might she pushed open the doors and stumbled in, landing on the floor of the building.

The cold stone cutting into her cheek as she began to black out from exhaustion, lack of food, and lack of will. But as she was fading from the consciousness, she saw lights floating in her vision and heard voices above her but could not understand them. Beings surrounded her and she could feel herself being lifted by strong arms. As she was carried through the building she could see shelves of books and scrolls. She had made it. It was with a soft sigh that she gave up the fight and hoped for the first time in weeks that she was actually at a place she could call home. A place she could forget the chaos and finally find order.

-227-

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