If one were to ask a professional thief why it was that he stole from people- he would probably spout off something about becoming rich and powerful, and how varying levels of difficulty in thievery would lead to equal levels of fame amongst the populace. Then they would probably go on about how many concubines they would have- the size of their newfound house- the lavish feasts that would be waiting for them every day when they got home and any number of other things that would be meaningless to the average passersby.
If one were to ask Noruka Goemon the same question, you'd probably get an answer along the lines of "Eh- it passes the time."
It wasn't very easy to fight three armed men while running across the rooftops of the coastal city of Mare Maris. It was even less easy to dodge varying amounts of arrows, kunai, smoke bombs, shurikens and even a few grenades while fighting three armed men and running across said rooftops. Nevertheless, this was the predicament that the Bandit King had found himself in after tripping a magical alarm within the nobleman Nobunaga's mansion.
Frankly, Goemon didn't quite understand how the man justified so much goddamned security. Sure- he had some nice things, but none of them were particularly rare enough to be of much worth and thus not worth placing sorcerous wards around. It was just a bit ridiculous to have to face so much adversity when he, The Prince of Thieves, was only doing his job; especially when he was simply relieving the drug dealer of his not-very-wealthy wealth. Perhaps next time he should come more prepared--
An arrow cut the air before him, causing Goemon to drop to his knees and slide across the roof for a few moments before rolling back onto his feet. "HEY!" he shouted, pointing at the bowman who was loading another arrow whilst running across a roof adjacent to the Bandit King, "Watch where you're shooting!" Another missile flew toward the thief in response to this and Goemon whipped his chain grappling hook at the man, catching him in the head with the steel tool and knocking him off the roof.
Pulling the hook back to him, the Bandit King was a bit dismayed to note the lack of roof before him. He stopped abruptly at the edge of the building he had been running across, dropping low and flattening out his body. The guard who had been following closely behind him couldn't bring himself to a stop in time and went flying off the building, landing face-first in a bale of hay in the street below.
The final guard leapt to the building that Goemon was currently standing on- rushing toward the thief with a short katana drawn. With a look of disappointment, the Bandit King raised his chain to parry the oncoming blow- wrapping the blade in it and wrenching it out of the man's grasp. With a grin, Goemon kicked the man in the chest, sending him to the ground. Grabbing the hilt of the sword he had taken from the man, the Prince of Thieves raised the weapon above his head and brought it arcing down toward his chest- stopping mere inches away from the guard's heart. The faint sound of trickling water, quickly followed by a slight acidic smell came from the man's pants as he wet himself.
"Just kidding!"
At that, Goemon leapt across the street and disappeared into the night- carting his bag of spoils and laughing as he went.
